Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
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There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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