She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize