It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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