I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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