Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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