Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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