i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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