we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize