census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize