Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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