im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize