i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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