I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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