Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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