I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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