hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize