Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize