like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize