exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You ate ashes out of my bong
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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