i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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