I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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