hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize