last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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