why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize