So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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