do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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