yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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