How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize