If i come over, it means nothing
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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