Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize