Its about making memories worth repressing
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize