i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize