Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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