im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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