when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize