God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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