ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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