I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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