What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize