my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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