I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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