So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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