My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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