using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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