hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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