that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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