i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize