booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
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