and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
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