i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize